Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest
element yet known to science.
The new element, *Governmentium (Gv)*, has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are *held together by forces called morons*,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons..
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it
can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a
reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take
from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time,
since each *reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.*
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as *critical morass*.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes *Administratium*, an element that radiates just as much
energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice
as many morons.
