Carter’s Still in The Lead, But It’s A Horserace
In the race to be remembered by history as the president who most damaged America, Jimmy Carter still leads, but President Obama is running strong with over three years to go. It could be close.
The score so far:
On foreign affairs, Jimmy is still far ahead, and still running strong, long after he should have gone back to the peanut farm. He still kisses every dictator he can, and publicly apologizes around the world for a lot of things we ought to be proud of. BHO has just started his apologizing, but he’s coming on strong. A few more world tours and we’ll all be sorry we were ever born. In Jimmy’s favor he managed to engineer the partial destruction of the CIA, which led to the ouster of the Shah of Iran, and facilitate the installation of one of the premier terror regimes in history. BHO learned enough from this particular history lesson, that he probably won’t stop at just demoralizing the CIA, he’s going for complete destruction, plus jail sentences for patriots that served their country in the most trying circumstances. Then he can buy new golf clubs for Kim (mentally) Il Jung. Jimmy handled terrorist pretty well too. When the hostages were taken from the embassy in Tehran Jimmy retaliated by refusing to buy oil from Iran. That hurt their feelings… Then he dashed the hopes of our young athletes by boycotting the Olympics. That’ll show ‘em. Note: he didn’t boycott the Special Olympics, probably because he was a contender. Then, in a show of getting up on his hind legs, he dispatched a rescue operation. The only problem was; since he had already neutered the military, they didn’t have the maintenance money, nor the training to pull it off. Eight men died in the desert and numerous planes were lost. Score one for Jimmy.
Since all this went so well, Jimmy then bribed the dictator of Panama to take that pesky old canal off our hands. You know the one we built, bought and paid for, operated, and let the Panamanians make the profits. It didn’t take long for the dictator to make even more money by selling both ends of it to the Chinese. What’d BHO gong to do to eclipse that? Sign over the deed to the Fulda gap to the Russians? Give him time, he’s still just at the apologizing, and kissing dictators stage.
Meanwhile on the economic front, Jimmy’s still looking pretty good. If you were making money on interest bearing accounts, 21% looked pretty rich until you realized that inflation was a very close second and you weren’t really making any money. This led to the savings and loan debacle which the democrats blamed on under regulation. To make up for this master stroke of economic planning, Jimmy started the wheels in motion for the Community Reinvestment Act, which led to the collapse of the mortgage industry we are still paying for by forcing banks to loan money to people with no more ability to get a mortgage than a pulse. To BHO’s credit, he’s now buying banks, with our money, so they won’t fail alone. They’ll take us all with them. BHO’s unemployment numbers are in the running but he’s going to have to do some serious damage to keep up. I have confidence. Under the old adage that ‘ya gotta dance with the one that brung ya’ BHO has managed to buy out, with our money, 2/3rds of the U.S. auto industry to keep it from falling in foreign hands. Like Chrysler did when Mercedes-Benz bought them out. We got it back when the Germans figured out that $50.00 an hour was a little much to pay somebody to screw on lug-nuts. Don’t worry, he’s still got time, and besides, he owes the unions his presidency. Given a chance, he’ll pay that one off too.
On the energy front, Jimmy ginned up the Department of Energy. This stunning success employs 170,000 mental midgets that have, so far, raised the prices to historic highs, created gas lines, engineered ‘designer gas’, prevented domestic drilling, and have taken our self-sufficiency numbers from over 50% in the ‘70’s to 24% today. It’ll take nationalization to top this. Don’t worry, BHO’s got it in him. His very own ‘Screecher’ of the House said the nasty ol’ oil companies don’t deserve to make a profit. This ought to make the investors sleep better at night. She got so excited by this that her facial expression almost changed.
BHO’s claim to fame is currently health care. Jimmy tried this a little, and got laughed at out loud. When Hillary tried this, her basic goodness and integrity surfaced. Now, being such an astute scholar of history, BHO has decided that, in the words of a Russian communist I met last year, “We just didn’t have enough time, or the right leaders…” Didn’t work then, won’t work now.
This particular race has just begun and it’ll be hard to predict. Just when you think BHO is closing the gap, Jimmy wanders off from the Old Presidents Home and manages to hate America anew. Like herpes, he’s the gift that keeps on giving. In order to win this ignominious race, BHO will probably have to lose at least one war, totally trash the economy, and leave a legacy that’ll last for generations. I think he’s mentally, morally, and philosophically equipped for all of it.
