Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)
\nLawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest
\nelement yet known to science.
\nThe new element, *Governmentium (Gv)*, has one neutron, 25
\nassistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy
\nneutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.<\/p>\n
These 312 particles are *held together by forces called morons*,
\nwhich are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
\ncalled peons..<\/p>\n
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it
\ncan be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
\ncomes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a
\nreaction that would normally take less than a second, to take
\nfrom 4 days to 4 years to complete.<\/p>\n
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not
\ndecay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
\nof the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.<\/p>\n
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time,
\nsince each *reorganization will cause more morons to become
\nneutrons, forming isodopes.*<\/p>\n
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to
\nbelieve that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
\ncritical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
\nas *critical morass*.<\/p>\n
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
\nbecomes *Administratium*, an element that radiates just as much
\nenergy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice
\nas many morons.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv) Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, *Governmentium (Gv)*, has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it … Continue reading